| Doing what it takes and do YOU have what it takes.
I have had a very different life in the fact I have fought very hard to chase my goals. Yes, I've made mistakes, bad choices, fallen flat on my face, put my foot in my mouth and on more than one occasion bitten off more than I could chew; and choked on it.
I have always had an all or nothing way of living. I won't do anything unless I plan on taking it to the pinnacle. To simply win. Defining the term 'win' has many interpretations. Everything I do is a contest in my mind. Yes, don't play Wii golf against me cause I hate loosing. Ok, I'm not that bad but my Grand Father taught me a simple parable or proverb if you will I have lived by:
"Once a task has begun, never leave it till its done. Do your labor big or small, do it right, or don't do it at all."
In all probability I took this to an extreme. Many times has this course of action tested my faith, my strength, my morals, and my discipline. However, this bearing has aloud me to experience moments that the masses cannot dream of. When I set out to do something, I simply do. I grow so disgusted at those who say "Well I tried," as if to say trying is good enough. To me try it is an excuse to come up short. Here are some examples of my life. Some see them as a success, some a failure, some can't fathom it, others wish to learn and chase their own paths in the same likeness.
My athletic career has been so broad its not funny. Some sports I played just because someone said I couldn't. However, my passion was and will always be wrestling and rodeo. I left the prospect of football to go and train at the Olympic training center many years back. This was an experience I carry daily. Not for the reason you may think. I'll never forget my first practice. I was coming off a year of winning, where I was unstoppable. You name it I was winning and destroying every opponent in my wake. Ha! I am invincible . . . I say nay nay.
I fill out all my USA wrestling paper work at the facility and walk in for my first practice. I'm in world class shape, my look of a greek God. Ripped, and hard, 215 pounds of fury. Who will but be my first step to Olympic glory? I am a spartan re-born! Ok my ego wasn't that bad but you get my meaning. My first practice Coach Frazier (The only American at the time to ever win a Gold medal in Greco-Roman wrestling) pairs me up against a man close to my age. He weighs roughly 185 pounds. I think, he'll be fast but surely I can best this man, once again . . . I say nay nay. The man's name is Matt Lindland. Yes, the man who would become Matt 'The Law' Lindland. Olympic silver medalist and one of the most revered MMA fighters in the history of the sport. On this day, however, he was Matt 'Shadow of Death' Lindland. Over the next two hours Matt beat me within an inch of death. It got so bad at one point another USOTC coach, Anatoly Petrosyan, stopped Matt four times cause he was beating me up so bad. Now, Matt was not being mean he was teaching me a lesson. I was beaten down so badly, the trainers had to take my shoes off. A man on the team, Brian Keck, took pity on me and let me stay in his room that night. See, I was not in the resident program then, meaning I had to make the two hour drive home, then drive back the next day for practice again. The ten minute walk took me an hour in socks. I couldn't even get shoes on.
He put my metal to the test. I spent the whole night fighting the inside battle on if I really belonged in this world. The spartan in me prevailed. I went to practice the next day and could still barely walk. I made the commitment it was gong to kill me or I would win. When Matt saw me the next day he came up and talked to me saying he didn't think I'd come back. Coach Frazier told me to take a few days off then come back. Earning Matt's respect was a win in my life. I fought pain, the haunts of nay sayers who said I didn't belong at the OTC in the first place, and the worst enemy, my own mind.
Like to say things got easier but they never did. Beating after beating, sleeping in my truck, trying to go to school, work and train. It took me 90 days to get my first take down in practice. One that all celebrated. Day after day, pain upon pain that moment was a gold medal. I trained and competed with the greats of my time. Randy Coutour, Matt Lindland, Dan Henderson, Dan Neiber, Brian Keck, T.C. Danzler, and so many more. Did I ever make an Olympic team. No but I truly gave it my all. And got to live in a world of Olympians. Incidentally, the 90 days, its a time frame I use to this day as my marker for training. In all I do I make a 90 plan for preparation. Name it, sports, writing, acting roles, business. And they say you don't learn from sports. I take up new sports each year to test my metal and give me an edge. In my 20's I took up gymnastics. Also, a period were I thought I'd lost my mind. Nothing like getting your ass kicked by twelve year old girls to humble a man. My joints, my body hurt in ways I never dreamed. But one of my peers and men I looked up to had suggested it to help my bareback riding. Yes, Ty Murray did gymnastics. In four months I trained myself to do the pummel horse. And it paid off, in bareback riding big time. Did I do it to become the greatest ever, no but give my all just the same I did, with the reward coming in a different fashion.
I took up the sport of triathlons, to help in keep my weight down. When I started couldn't hardly swim ten laps, didn't own a bike. A years worth of focus and I competed. My goal, my win was to complete the race in a time based off my personal bests. On race day I over came obstacle and beat my time by 00:04:00. Did I win, the whole race. No but the training I did helped me recover from the worst rodeo accident in my career. Once again I gave all, every ounce of me into my training, my preparation and my race.
I have often been ridiculed for my love of MMA and fight sports. These too I enjoy the challenge of. I have competed minor league at best. I never did it to be a world champ, it was place to carry on my wrestling and expand my interest. Strangely, my younger brother, in submission grappling and Brazilian Jujitsu has rarely been defeated. The kid is making a name for himself around the globe. I now find myself training for what he and I have always called the championship of the world. In reality I'm trying to not get destroyed by my younger brother. But while I still hold that belt, I owe it to the honor our our event to give it my all, so here I am in another 90 days. I am always amazed at the emails I get from people who say "There is no way you have done all you do." or my other favorite "No one can have done what you do". Because I've been successful in rodeo, the entertainment business and athletics. These people put limitations on themselves. Facts are facts. Nothing that cannot be argued.
My resume is as states: Regional best selling author, Award winning film maker (Director, Producer, Writer, Actor), Saddle Bronc riding champion, multi-album recording artist, fight enthusiast, USA triathlon card holder/amateur triathlete, USA Speed Skating Card holder (Wow this one I love but man do I suck), former power lifting champion, former bodybuilding champion, former soldier, surfing enthusiast (I also really suck at this one), and in the end ……………… nothing. People who read resumes and say that can't be possible are right. Because they short change themselves. I will always challenge myself. I will keep writing books, doing movies, find new and wild sports. Have I failed at all the above, oh dear God yes. But give up never. Tell me I can't and we'll see who drops first. Loosing is never an option in my life. I'm not doing anything anyone else can't, and I may not be the best at it but I surely will not let opinion have any baring on my life. Only God's opinion bares on this life.
So the question is posed? Are you willing to do what it takes? Are you willing to give up all possession to go down that road. Live in your car for sometimes months, even, in my case years, to complete the task. Train till your body hurts so bad, grown men cry in pain. Get knocked down time and time again. Be forsaken by friends, a wife, even your family to complete the goal, to fulfill the commitment. Be told by even doctors you'll never ride again, only to ride better. Be willing to have a hundred doors slammed in your face to have number one hundred and one open. Look at every obstacle as a challenge. Be willing to lock a door and teach yourself marketing and business in six weeks in a manor that would rival someone with an MBA. Give your all to that calling in your heart, knowing full well you could come to the end of the path, even your life with nothing to show for your sacrifice.
Is it hard to be like us? We few gladiators who brave the perils of the arena, while the mob watches only to cheer for our blood and sweat. Yes it is. Most will never follow their heart, where do you think mid-life crisis came from. That point when most realize they've done nothing with the gift of life. The only harder thing is being with or being married to someone of this personality. My ex-wife I am sure would agree and I am pretty positive its why I have been pathetically single for a long time; with intermittent glimmers of hope that time showed otherwise. My ex, God bless her used to ask 'why can't you be normal'. 'I'm not built that way Adrianne, I'm a fighter we can't changed who we are.' Thank you Stallone for that quote. So unless I find another, a lady Spartan who lives by 'With it or on it' mentality, my status may not change. I can't even socialize with lazy, undisciplined, unmotivated, non-driven people.
Those who abandon you are not truly your friends; dreams and goals come with a price. I do mine for the Glory of the lord. I will always live to a higher set of standard, ethics, morals, and discipline. I'm not afraid to fall on my face even a hundred times because, my track record shows that if you get up enough you'll win. And always take heed to those mocking. Do they sit on the couch, overweight, all they think of is themselves. Not even a 'has been' but a never was and in some self serving vision of false grandeur, feel the need to mock you and run you down. These are the people who say, "I can't I'm married' or 'I can't I have kids' no, 'but I got the job you know' what you have is a weak constitution and no spine for the fight. Trust me that is part of it, the nay sayers have a loud voice on the path, funny though at the finish line not only can you not hear them but they are no where to be found. Hidden in the shame of their own, at that place you'll find yourself surrounded by those like you. From there your commitment will be to pass it on to the younger travelers.
Do you have what it takes?
(By the way don't write me and ask who win's championship of the world. Neither of us will tell, its the challenge between us made for no one else. But what a glorious battle it will be.)
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The follwing is a piece written by: J. Michael Ray (a.k.a. Junior Ray) that will be published in May 2009
Second Chances
Regret is a word that maybe as haunting as any in the English language. We reminisce about what could have been and the what-if’s of life. All the things that should be said, or done; the day dreams of what could have. I am a firm believer in living life with no stone unturned. If you love, then say it and show it daily. In life the one thing that is completely uncertain is tomorrow. When we loose love unexpectedly, that always equates too tragically, it haunts us for many seasons to come. Some of us it haunts for a life time. It always comes down to love and more so . . . love lost and missed opportunity.
Pure untainted love in life is so hard to come by. The little trivial things that may seem so small become marking points in our lives we carry for years, some of us for life. One of Hollywood’s favorite things to write about and we see on the screen are stories of second chances. I know, I am one of those writers that use the theme in my music, my stories and screen plays. However, even I until recently never really understood what a second chance could mean.
Those very close to me know a short story I’m sure Hallmark would love to get a hold of. See, I am one of the very few that believe in genuine, pure, untainted love; you know that Grandma and Grandpa kind. When you see that elderly person at the cemetery alone talking with the love of their life about old times, and the times to come when the one whose been left behind crosses over. That love that when you’re in the presence of, it feels like God is smiling on everyone around. There is gravitational pull to it that cannot be explained. An old man that smiles and still calls his wife of fifty-plus years his girl friend and she still gets butterflies when he walks (even if its real slow) into the room. Having perfection in your life such as this is nothing short of a divine gift. I had perfection in my life and in a flash it was gone. ....
When something so amazing leaves, the smallest things, those trivial to the world become the breaths of life that get us through the hard times. Only one thing is certain in our time here, tomorrow the sun will rise but your time may end.
For sometime now those around, tried to help me move on. Regret plagued me, questions haunted my nights. I remembered the smallest of things. I recalled how she would get irritated at me when I would sit and stare sometimes, I wanted to burn the vision of her in my mind so if, and it did, she would leave me I would have a picture in my memory. I recall the elation I felt when she signed her name ‘Your Wife’. She never knew but I carried that thought daily. A valentines day where I surprised her with an evening in the city only to return home with the bedroom littered with roses and rose pedals. Trivial, yes; but they are the stars in the night of life that keep me company. I am not ashamed to admit I never really moved on, oh I tried a time or two, but always did I feel like my angel would be watching and I realized a lifetime of waiting would be worth the wait. Sounds corny I’m sure but you cannot put a square key in round slot. For there is no greater pain then waking one morning in the bed you shared and coming to the realization as you reach out and they're not there. Nor will they ever be again.
So what would I do if a second chance came to me? If God brought love to my life again. Here is a thought, what if my angel, the one who I have said good night to every night for so many years; the one that I would part with friends over on a Friday evening to look up to the heavens and talk to, cause I always knew she would listen, what if she came back to me. When I woke tomorrow, she was there . . . and in love with me still. The many years of loneliness on this earth had been like some memory. That she knew I made this sacrifice, chose to love her still; and there she was. Sounds like a great movie doesn’t it? How would I live? Faced with events that felt like waking to a red sky and blue sun I was able to ponder this.
Can you imagine a gift so great how would you cope or accept it? Think hard, don’t fairy tale it but think hard about a normal day and how life would forever be different. A simple daily routine would turn into an event, an everyday gift. I would stare at her as she awoke, she’d roll her eyes cause, lets face it, we all don’t exactly look like red carpet material right out of bed but I’d already know because days are so short and I’d venture to say I’d wake up just a tad early to watch her sleep. I’d put my arms around her in the bathroom just a second to feel her again cause each hug, each kiss, each ‘I love you’ is a gift from God. Standing in the kitchen, I remember she came and put her arms around me and laid her head against my back while I fumbled with coffee, this time, I’d take a few extra seconds to hold on.
I’d go do my thing, she’d go do hers, but when I left, the routine kiss would not be routine, it would be that one that says “I love you” and one to carry you through the day. A simple text message that said “I’m thinking of you” would be like a sunrise at noon. In the evening, no matter the business of the day . . . time together so very important. I’d probably never eat in front of the TV again. Those talks we put off to the side because we’re tired and get so self absorbed, I would hang on now to every word. I would hold her hand if even for a second. I’d hope she’d let me just hold her a few minutes before we went off to bed. Once there I’d tell her she completed my life, that I’d love her and no other with my last breath. Before we drifted off to sleep I would thank God for the day, of every second I was alive that she loved me; and the selfish part would come out because I’d beg for one more day.
Each day we have is so very precious. We get so wrapped up in the sludge of life we forget that in an instant it can be gone. Many people deal with the loss of someone in their lives. You never forget; some move on, some are willing to wait for that second chance, whether it be in this life or the next. If you have your second chance, that some how the universe gives to you this, then you must realize it will never come again. LOVE with all you have, give everyday like it’s your last, fight for it. I know now I would but I know the feeling of that true loss. Give all of yourself and your reward will be the greatest love and peace we can have on this earth. You will be complete, so few get this chance, take it, it’s yours. So when you’re that old couple those within your space will see and they will believe. What you have will resonate like the aftershock of a quake and give hope to those of us who are holding out for hope, in this life or the next. Take your gift and give it a hundred fold. I think somewhere in that thought is one of the many meanings of life.
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"DO IT FOR THEM" Written by, Junior Ray
September 1, 2010
*I only write this so I don't have to answer the many emails. First and foremost my win was not for me. Please read on and I'll explain.
I have always been a fan of Marshal Mathers. First, for how he rose up from the place he came from, second for as ole blue eyes would say "doing it his way" and third most recently for his willingness to air his dirty laundry. Yet in his fashion he did it his way, in your face and no backing down. Like Marshall, I had to go to that place to come to this. I'm following Marshall and I suggest if you have young kids you listen to this song first and perhaps it’s not appropriate for their young ears. I am sure there’s an edited version.
Last night I got back my life, full circle. Some may not agree with airing my dirty laundry; but we all fall, all make mistakes. So I have chosen to face my demons openly. As most of you know, last year I signed a contract with Arsenal Productions out of now, Universal Studios, Hollywood California, to do a book on my life. My journey has not been one of any ease. Last night when I accepted my award from one of the greatest people (Miss Rodeo Wyoming 2011) I've ever had the pleasure to meet, asked me standing there in the arena this question "with the movies and acting and music and rodeo, with all of that how do you define yourself?" There is it was, after three years of hell, I got my life back.
My resume reads as this; multi-album national/Nashville recording artist, award winning actor/writer/director/producer, regional best-selling author, professional rodeo cowboy, and the list can go on. The story behind getting there is not one I want any young person to go through, but like Eminem said, 'Maybe I had to go there to get here'. Most, not even my family, whom I've never been anything but open, in the fact that we are not that close; fact to my own shame, I just this year saw my brother for the first time in over eleven years and met his six year old son for the first time. Fact, yes I've been in the film and acting business for over seven years, cost: one marriage, everything I had, two homes and one year homeless in California living is a storage unit of a place I worked or more often my car. Fact, got the great call to go to Nashville and did, lived the life in the mansion, on the verge of super stardom, till I looked in the mirror and truly hated, and I mean down to my soul who I'd become.
Price: I was on the verge of drinking myself to death, I lost my fiancé whom was and is the greatest woman I've known; because I chose my career and the bottle, lost friends, every dime I had. I was so low, when I decided it was get out or die, I had no one to turn to, no one who loved me, no place to go. I was defiantly seeing only one set of footprints in the sand through the bottom of an empty bottle. I left Nashville that year in December, I didn't get back home to Cody, Wyoming till July; I truly was wandering the earth. I scrambled to regain who I was, and make amends for what I had done. Needless to say some may never forgive me and it eats at me every night.
The book will obviously tell more but after all that, this year taught me the most. I had a family here in Cody adopt me, and for the first time in my life I have felt home. I have been in need and they came running even when I ask them not to "Cause that’s what family does" my adoptive family will tell you. I watched a mother of a man I called friend brought to her knees in the rodeo arena, where a town said their goodbye. I saw what love meant that day, though I am no stranger to death. I watched a young man who'd been told just three weeks ago he had cancer climb on a bull to finish what he started. I could not help but wonder if climbing on the taste was sweeter, the feeling greater after what he had been and will go through. I decided to stop riding for me and start riding for God, and in that I'm now a member of Try Team Pink, strange it’s a ride for a cure for all cancers. So now I ride for the lord and for my friend.
As I took my victory lap, the taste was much sweeter, the air cleaner, the cheers more music to my ears. Sure I could have been the old Junior and used it a reason for self promotion and basque in the lime light. That’s old Junior, I have been killing myself (literally some days) to change back to the man my grandfather would be proud of. Last night my friends’ mom got to accept a championship in the arena, why, cause’ her boy would have done it. I thanked my Cody family, my town and Try Team Pink, then in that got to honor my friend who is in the fight of and for his life. I hope in a quiet whisper I made amends for other things I've done. Last night was not about me, it’s no long ever about me.
I have begged for forgiveness for my transgressions, and I still do. To my friends and those whom I caused pain in the wake of a selfish, self centered path, forgive me. Last night, I got me back, and in that I'm just a kid from a small town that got out by having some mediocre talent and a drive that rivals anyone. I gave back with what I have. I got to ride, that is what 'I Do it For Me' but everything else if I can't give back I don't deserve it. I'm not afraid to say I have been knocked down, fell off the path, thanks to those who've been my help and friends through the good and more the dark and painful times.
Last night’s win was for those whom I did wrong and those I did right. I am reminded of a poster I saw as a young boy. "Lord first let me be a winner in your eyes, then in my own." Thank you to fans and friends alike who stood by me. Like Eminem says, “I'm not afraid to make a stand. You got my word, I won't let you down again.”
Lyrics:
It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me. Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you. So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through. And don't even realize what you did, believe me you. I been through the ringer, but they can do little to the middle finger. I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of My world, haters can make like bees with no stingers, and drop dead No more beef flingers, no more drama from now on, I promise To focus solely on handling my responsibilities as a father So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughters and raise it You couldn't lift a single shingle on it Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club Or the corner pub and lift the whole liquor counter up Cause I'm raising the bar, I shoot for the moon But I'm too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and (Hook) I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road.
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